Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
