seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
