he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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