Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
