please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
