Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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