We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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