just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
