I feel like abortions should bother me more
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
