i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
