I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
