Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
