He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
