We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
