My first STD was from a foam party
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
