pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
