I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
