I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
