I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
handjob tips. give me some.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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