i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
