Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
no, he came in my armpit
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
