I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he fucked my hip out of place.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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