no you cant smoke seaweed
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
