you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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