He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We are two peas in an std pod
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
