dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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