Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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