I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
