i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
