quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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