there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
