There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
