Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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