I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
