Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
