what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
