idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
