Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
