i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
