He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
