Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
