i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
