Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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