Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
