tell your sister to shave her snatch
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
