this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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