ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
