I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
