I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
