that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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