I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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