Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
